14 years ago, I remember pulling into what is now my driveway and thinking ~ Yeah, I can see myself pulling in here after work for years to come! It was in my mind’s eye and actually doing it once felt like I had already done it dozens of times before. Not really de ja view, but more like it just fit, and it would work and it was kind of already broken into where it fit me back.
The road to calling this place home was a rocky one but it is a place that my kids and I love to call home now. In just the last few years renovations have happened that were top of the To-Do list all those 14 years ago! Some of these renovations were pretty simple and others not so much. They ranged from large projects for contractors to quite small things that I could get done in an hour or so… This makes my spine straighten to think about it now but truly some dreams I had and waited to push into action, included a decade of obsessing and naysaying… and then one hour of my life.
This month we are reflecting on dreams and the beliefs that live behind them. Thinking about the small projects that kept stewing inside my mind, the same ones that I kept walking by and saying maybe tomorrow ~ I did that for over 10 years with some of them. Life was pretty crazy, and that is no exaggeration but there was more to it than I was just too busy. There was a back story. There was something my subconscious mind was reigning in and manifesting. I had a deep belief system that was pushing these dreams (goals) away or simply blocking them. It was a back story of “I didn’t deserve it” on replay, very loudly, resonating through all layers of me. Inside my subconscious mind, I deserved the chaos, the leaking roof, and the slippery tile floor until it did not anymore. One day I looked at my mom and said, we are ripping up this tile floor. I did not have a plan for what I was going to put in its place. I didn’t know how to rip up the tile floor. I didn’t have the tools to rip up the tile floor. Neither did my mom but she said OK! and then she probably wanted to start that afternoon. We chipped away at it and removed cabinets and then figured out how to grind off the chunks of mortar (or whatever holds tile to the floorboards) and then we had plywood floors. So, 10 years later, I had no more skills than I did when I first bought my home. I had no extra money, no tools, no plan even, but something was different. I was different. What I began to think I deserved was different. The dreams that were still floating around inside me now deserved an outlet. I deserved more than just the yearning for the dream, I deserved an outcome that matched the dream. Those dreams deserved to manifest and I needed to get out of their way and let them out!
This was about 3 ½ years ago and I had just finished my first Reiki training. My teacher, Lisa Powers, had just given me an Attunement session to align me to the flow of Reiki energy. No one touched me. No one gave me a big pep talk about anything. Lisa just sent me an email and told me we were done and thanked me for my time. But I was different. I felt more worth it. I felt like I could do “it”, or at least try to do it and not get lost in stories of not enough or more stories about what is in the way. I didn’t even really need to worry about all the things that “it” was or was not. I was just ready to move into something with new energy. We just tried and I asked the perfect person to help. We ripped up the old floor and then laid down the new material and it turned out great! Then we moved on to updating a bathroom and a few more projects. Eventually, I then hired some help for adding an addition which flooded into (not literally!) completely redoing another room in the house… just a couple of years later every room in my home got at least a little update. There are crooked boards and some minor issues with imperfections but it is no big deal. I look at those imperfect places here and there and I say “oh Nannah…” LOL!! That’s the grandma-type name my mom picked for her grandkids to call her. The not-so-perfect places still bring me joy. And we have pride when we look around. There was no time frame for getting stuff done but the momentum carried us forward way faster than I would have ever imagined. It was such a great thing to take on with my mom (and other loved ones in my life!). My inner belief system of what I deserved changed somewhere and somehow. I don’t have solid facts or data to turn to for the information but I am aware of the timing of what else what happening in my life (like with the Reiki training and Attuning).
So, as we talk about dreaming this month it is as important or maybe more important than anything else, to connect to the inner story of what we believe about the dream that is on hand and in your heart..
Whose dream is it?
Is it your parent’s dream that you are expected to accept or maybe it’s your spouse’s dream? If the driving force is not your own deep love, then it is not truly your dream.
Why do you deserve this thing that is in your dream?
The car, the job, the money in the bank… How is it going to change your life or continue your journey to another goal? How will it feel emotionally? How is it going to change others' lives?
Spend time connecting to the inner beliefs behind the dream.
For example, journal or just think about your opinions of people that have the bank account balance that you dream about. Do you think they are jerks? Do you think they may have done things like steal, lie or dishonestly gain the money? This will lead you to a story about how you envision financial success.
It is also helpful to tell yourself a story about everyone in the world also having this dream and accomplishing it because it is important to remember that there are infinite amounts of whatever you are dreaming about.
Everyone can have a fancy car or even a trip to outer space … there is not just one of them. The more we celebrate how easy it is to slip into the dream we have and imagine with love that we all can do it, the easier it is to manifest.
When it is not manifesting, there is something in the way and almost every time it is just us getting in the way of us.
As with everything ~ proceed with love!
Offering you endless Love & Gratitude!
~ Sarah
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