I truly take to heart the concept that only you can heal yourself and in turn only I can heal myself. The more I experience, learn, and gather, the more I notice it is my choice what I receive, hold, grow, and incorporate. All life experiences, trapped trauma, limiting beliefs, past struggles & successes contribute to what any of us are aware of at any moment. These pieces of our past are held in the subconscious mind and filter our awareness and shape our perception. This concept has grown my awareness of where my energy for the day goes. How I apply it. Where I apply. Why I question what I am noticing. After 25 years of tuning and retuning my awareness it has become clearer that the more I apply my energy to optimize my environment, the more healing is encouraged to happen. The more trapped emotions that are cleared, the more balanced my chakras, the more limiting beliefs I recognize and challenge, the more aligned I feel to the moment of "NOW". The cycle of healing opens doors to more lessons in the cycle of noticing and shifting. Lessons I often find from nature as I realize the answers to all my struggles can be found somewhere in nature or somewhere outside. This month an extra layer of substance arrives in the cycle of noticing and shifting as I was called to invite "listening" into the process.
Let me share with you what I noticed as I was listening to my adventure splitting wood the other day.
Hearing the Subconscious Mind's story
Let's talk about firewood... again!
I know, I know! But I learn so much while engaging in this moving meditation so here we go. Usually, the splitting that I do is on the machine but there is a maul here for cracking the largest pieces into smaller ones so they are easier to get up onto the splitter. This piece of wood above is Ash and most of the time this is fun to split by hand. It pops open with one or two whacks and it makes me feel powerful and awesome, so sometimes I just do some without the machine.
I remember the first time I tried my hand at this. I was told, it's Ashwood, so you'll be fine! Up to that point, I had only had experience trying to split green (fresh cut, alive tree) maple (stringy and twisted grain) which is very difficult. I use wedges and a big hammer and it takes me a while to get through one log. Approaching this new experience I was listening to the memories of the maple experiences even though I was showing up to split ash... not the same experience (usually).
So I took a swing and thought about how heavy the maul was... and I didn't sink into the log. Meanwhile, the expert that was with me, that has been splitting and processing trees for as long as I have been alive, was not even standing the logs on end. He was holding them between his feet and swinging his heavier maul, splitting them with the logs laying on their sides. Whacking them open with one or two hits. Well, this was annoying to me and then it added to what I was listening to inside my head. The message turned into layers of thought like: This is easy for "everyone" else except me. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do this? and back to: Why is this freaking maul so heavy... then magically, my maul sunk in and my log cracked! Suddenly I was smiling and so proud. The maul was not so heavy... I was not so tired... I was not so doubtful I could do it!
The first log I tried to split that day I must have hit 10 times or more. After that first crack though, once I saw that I could do it, I did not hit a log more than twice before there was some kind of crack. It did not bother me that the other person was faster and fancier. I was listening to the new message ~ Sarah you can do this! and you can do this again!
I was glad to be done with the splitting that day because I was tired. Tired because of my success. When that little landing was cleared, I had let go of a limiting belief (splitting wood was hard) and established and reinforced a positive belief. This is the message I still listen to when I step in front of a piece of ash and it is still is as loud and clear as that day in Owego.
Sarah, you can do this!
So... there is that picture of the log up there above this reflection! That has a lot of dents from repeated whacks from my maul. I looked at that log and a few others that I tried to split that day and I chose to listen to that message of success. The maul was heavy and the experience was frustrating but I kept going until it split. I knew I could do it! Eventually, there WAS an added layer of why I was still trying and... well my ego kicked in!
There were a few logs that I hit a couple of times and moved on, confused why it was so difficult. Once I found one that was relatively straight and got it to split I saw that the fibers were just not the typical straight grain of ash. It was a lot like maple. Twisty and stringy and the wood was full of knots. The experience pushed into my ego and I was determined to split each log that I had hit at least once. I was listening to the positive message and adding the megaphone speaker (aka my ego), sometimes even saying it out loud that I was going to split it. I wanted to prove that belief that I could break that log with my tool.
At some point I thought, what else can I listen to with this experience and then waited to notice.
I noticed where my feet were planted and then:
My footwork got better.
My strike got more accurate.
The logs split with less effort.
My ego got quieter with the transition into a bigger lesson.
There was a lot to listen to.
Just like the day in Owego on the log landing a few years ago, I was glad to be done with the work for the day. I was tired because of my successes with many things not just a pile of firewood. I can also still feel the lesson of both of those days, maybe it's a little louder too, but it's pushing out into noticing other "ash logs" I'm arriving at that might be perceived as "maple logs" from the past.
Slowly, slowly and with much love lessons grow and strength builds.
The wood got split, the lesson bloomed, the experience shifted. Slowly, slowly and with much love.
Conversations are all around us. Inside us. Outside us. With everything we engage in.
What are you listening to when you stand in front of your version of the ash log?
What is that struggle you relate to that is your version of the maple log of the past?
When you arrive at your moment of NOW, do you arrive with the belief system that has you expecting success, or a struggle, or failure, or maybe a conversation, or a lesson to learn from... with some focused listening, noticing, and shifting, how can you recognize and challenge the belief?
If you are having trouble shifting these belief systems, I would love to connect! Restorative Healing taps into the subconscious mind using the Universal healing power of Reiki, Kinesiology, and many other modalities including the amazing tools of the Body Code to find and release the trapped emotions and trauma that established the beliefs. Reach out with an email, fill out the contact form on the website, check out the upcoming community events, reserve your spot at the next Community Clinic Workshop, or book a free connection call
Thank you for listening!
Sending you much love and of course endless gratitude!
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