Tom Petty music has been playing in my head for the last few weeks. Waiting really is the hardest part!!! On June 11th we had a very fast and smooth delivery of our first calf from one of the best mama cows in the world, her name’s Elizabeth. The helper that we had around the barn assured us that the other cow that is pregnant will be calving in the next day or so… well fast forward to July 1st and in actuality, she was not ready! We are STILL waiting for Bella, a first-time heifer to let go of that baby. We have had her checked, rechecked and checked again, even as recently as last night. Everything is ok, thank goodness but it is just not time yet. We just have to wait.
I’m going to say it again… waiting is the hardest part! Waiting for results. Waiting for the results that you are expecting, especially if you are like me and usually have a set time frame of when these results are supposed to roll out. It has been pretty frustrating for me to not have control of when those results (in this case for me, calf #2) show up and it adds to things when progress doesn’t look like what I expect or look like what I want them to. Oh, and don’t forget about the schedule! Wanting the results “on time” (so I can participate in a virtual training, for example) can add even more frustration to the mountain that has piled up already. Why am I bringing this up for this month's blog?
Because it has reminding me of many things:
#1 I am grumpy about that calf not being here yet and I am surprised about how much I want other people to be grumpy about it with me. I don’t think that I am necessarily miserable about it but the expression misery loves company is hitting the nail on the head for me the last few weeks. Somehow, I think that the more people around me that are grumpy or even worried it (with me), will help the cow just have her baby. How crazy is that? So, let’s have a learning moment together! Is there a thought that you might be able to piece together that is just as crazy so we can all have that laugh and a lighter moment of learning together? It’s really the same kind of thinking as, for example ~ If I find more people that hate their job as much as me, my career will take off… If I gather more people that are on the “struggle bus” of life, my life might feel easier… If I complain a little bit more or find more people to blame for my results, it will change my outcomes… It is all really the same energy and the same thought pattern in those examples as my thinking with the misery coordinating to the birth of a cow.
#2 Fear needs company. There is no two ways about that! Love is an endless supply of energy. Fear is a finite energy, meaning it runs out after so long. It needs fuel and other people’s energy of fear or anything that stems from that (like anger, hate, worry, etc.) is like hitting recharge on the “fear battery” when it is running low.
#3 Worry is exhausting. When our farmer friend, John, was not worried, I had Keith call our other farmer friend, Bill, and then when that didn’t work to engage any worry, I even wanted to try to connect with a third friend named Chris. When all four of them were not contributing to the worry and that avenue ran dry, I started calling veterinarians. Yes, that has an “s” on the end of that… The large animal vet had already looked at Bella pretty thoroughly when she was up to look over the first calf few days after she was born but I needed her again up to check things out. Last night we had her out and she reassured us (me) that everything looks ok and it just isn’t time yet… but it will happen soon. When she was walking out of the barn with me, I realized how exhausted I was, from the worry and the fear and the grumpy.
#4 No matter how much we grow and change and sluff off the old patterns, there will be times that just feel hard, and challenge us, and kind of sneak up… and we might not even notice until it’s 3 weeks later… and after hearing the same thing over and over from a dozen people the information might start to sink in and the experience changes.
And then it’s time to regroup. Stand in the shower and cry a little and tell yourself that Bella IS ok. The calf inside her knows what he/she is doing. Bella is surrendered to the process and does not have the human instincts to worry. She is close to her best friend, Elizabeth the cow and her new calf, June(bug). Maybe some of this worry and fear is coming up because I’m remembering my experiences being pregnant and being scared and not having support. Sometime we just have to go through the cycle and reprocess experiences again in a gentler way on the outside (in a 3rd person point of view) and be able to get any extra trauma out of our physical body that is still stuck in there. Like the final spin in the washing machine cycle.
I love being able to see the patterns in the behavior and experiences that show up in life. Sometimes, like with Bella’s long-lasting pregnancy and maybe even just a little of the general experience of not having control, it’s hard to see it when you’re in it. Having support of someone with the knowledge on the outside is literally priceless if it helps you see the bigger picture part and not only help you feel empowered over it but actually release it and learn to find another pattern. Help recognize reaction verses response. Help connect you to what is actually happening around you. Teach you new routines that will create new outcomes. And best of all help you find laughter, gentleness, self-love and self-worth along the way! It’s a beautiful journey, this thing called life and it is made so much more fun when it is flowing with ease and pleasure. If it’s not feeling so flowy and not feeling so full of pleasure, I hope you might be sparked to wonder why. Without blaming or judging, just asking yourself why. There is a story in the back of your mind, coming from the subconscious mind (my favorite thing to tame!) that is helping that stagnation to linger, pain to grow, worry and anxiety to rattle around! If you are curious how my Life Alignment Coaching can help you find more ease and more pleasure in your life, I would love to talk about it! Shoot me an email LifeAlignment4You@gmail.com
As always, wishing you Endless Love & Gratitude
~Sarah
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