Each month I write up the newsletter that goes out on the 1st. So awesome that it is named 1st Things 1st, right!? I so look forward to reviewing the scraps of ideas that I have scattered around my desk, the truck, the kitchen chalkboard and sometimes even my phone and vioce recorder on the computer. It is a time of summery and of coming together to quantify the wisdom of the few weeks. October of 2021 process did not flow. It was not actually fun for the first time. It was not easy. It helped me show up though and keep going because I knew it would be fun and it would shift to easier, I just needed to get there. Finally at the end I saw the wisdom of the expereince and here is the newsletter Reflection that shares that:
“Wow” is all I have to say about today and yesterday and the day before too actually. There are not many other words that I could use to describe the struggle that I have come across putting this newsletter together. Maybe the word “Nope!” would also do, now that I think about it. So many starts and stops, start overs, redo’s, workshops that actually wont work out to offer and even ideas that just won’t develop. Usually, the work that goes into the information and the Reflection of 1st Thing’s 1st just flows and builds and comes together and then I send it out… just like that… for years. And then there was this one! HA HA
Sitting down to write on Monday, ideas were flowing like crazy. Several pages of outlines are right here on my desk. None of them really worked as I started to fit them into the newsletter so I took some breaks, got other things done. The deadline still approached so I kept pushing. Shift my energy, I kept thinking, try something else. I looked for half typed out things and that was a rabbit hole that I quickly climbed out of before it got too deep. “It’s coming Sarah. Just believe. Let the work come together and feel awesome. It will come together and feel awesome…” I was definitely giving myself some great motivation to keep going! I did some Tapping and some Yoga with Adrien and next thing I knew I had a great idea ~ yay! I will record the Reflection in an audio file and add it to the newsletter. So fun! Something new! It was born and now there was a new baby to watch grow… audio. I guess kind of like a mini podcast and I was so excited. I wrote it out and read it over in my head then hit the record button. Guess what!? It is amazing. Exactly 10 minutes. A lot of information was covered and it was finally some movement in the direction that I wanted to go. Hurray!!
Time to put the email together and move on with the project. Spoiler alert… you are reading this and not listening to an audio file so… :/
It didn’t work. The audio is great but the file would not load onto the email builder, or a google doc, or onto YouTube or even into a file on Canva (which is the best website ever!). Nothing would work and next thing I know, after one week of rolling around with the project that usually takes a few hours, I am down to the last hours of the 1st of October!
Keep going! That’s what I kept saying. I could see how much I wanted this. I love doing the newsletters and especially enjoy writing out my thoughts in the Reflections. I had to keep going. Even when I was angry, frustrated, disappointed, confused, it didn’t matter because I knew I was going to keep going. I dodged the Suffering and stayed focused on the Struggle. Connected to the parts that felt too much like my wheels were spinning,things that were not taking me anywhere, I stopped doing them. Shifted into something else. Made sure to reverse out of where I did not want to be and adjust the course I was taking.
Someday the audio file will show up on the newsletter or maybe even a podcast series will be created somewhere but not now, not here and that is ok. This was a great lesson that took me a week to connect to and experiences that I will remember for a long time. This week is what I bring to you in this Reflection. This Struggle. This new connection to how much I love connecting each month. This new invitation to offer to you.
What do you push through, no matter what?
What keeps you connected to the reality of the Struggle vs the Suffering?
What do you want to create and share and be proud of?
What are you learning from your last week?
Is there anything that you love more than you realized?
Thank you for being here! I hope you have a Happy and Safe Halloween!
As Alway (and a little extra today)
Sending you Endless Love & Gratitude!